ROOTS OF ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOUR

Roots of Addictive Behaviour

The beginnings of addiction are usually rooted in childhood. Children often grow up in chaotic, hostile, or neglectful homes, or in homes that appear very normal, except the children grow up emotionally starved of love, because of a lack of affection. Real or imagined rejection by a parent or primary care-giver, leads to the child erroneously blaming them self, and concluding that there is something wrong with them. It is common for them to think they are “not good enough” or “pretty enough” or “smart enough”, “too fat”, “too thin” or some other negative evaluation of themselves. When a child does this, they are no longer able to show their real self because they are somehow “not good enough.” The pain of this rejection is not something the child knows how to cope with on their own.

Children at this stage of their emotional development are very much emotionally dependent upon their parents, so if the relationship is damaged (real or imagined), the child can become stuck in their emotional development. For emotional development to take place, the environment needs to be one of unconditional acceptance. In the absence of unconditional acceptance, a child’s emotional development is stunted. A child stuck in this place of emotional dependence, grows up shifting their dependency off the parents on to other people, places, and things, developing a script for life, which is entitled “I’ll be whoever I think you need me to be.” So begins the journey of escape and co-dependency through the addictive cycle.

Usually the earliest form of escape is into fantasy. Children have very fertile imaginations and can create all manner of new realities in their minds, and escape into them. When you do not have words to express how you are feeling, fantasy is a very effective form of mood altering. From here, the pathway into full-blown addiction is many and varied.

Here are but a few:

  • Achievement / Performance

  • Approval / Acceptance / Body Image

  • Illicit & Prescription Drugs

  • Alcohol / Nicotine / Caffeine

  • Lust / Sex / Falling in Love

  • Pornography in all forms

  • Relationships / People

  • Work / Busyness / Collecting / Hoarding

  • Sickness / Sadness / Negativity

  • Computer Games / Internet Chat Rooms

  • Adrenaline / Excitement / Extreme Sports

  • Anger / Rage / Power / Control / Self Righteousness

  • Fantasy / Daydreaming / Romantic Fantasy

  • Food / Chocolate / Sugar

  • Knowledge / Music / Reading Books

  • Money / gambling / financial risk taking

  • Religion / Religious Works

  • Health Tablets / Fitness

  • Shopping / Window Shopping

  • TV / Entertainment

Addiction as a Spiritual Disease

It can be helpful to look at addiction as a spiritual malady with mental, emotional, and physical consequences. Therefore, the recovery is a spiritual recovery, which has mental, emotional, and physical consequences too. If we deal with the spiritual problems, in time we will straighten out mentally and emotionally.

From a Christian perspective, addiction is essentially idolatry in that we seek comfort in people, places, and things other than the Holy Spirit. The object(s) of our addiction(s) becomes the way in which we (our souls) cope with life. In other words, they (the objects of our addiction) become our life source and comforter in that we cannot do without them. They are the best effort of our soul/heart/sin nature/carnal nature/fallen nature/flesh to control our own lives.

When we choose self-effort, we essentially turn our back to God and we stand in judgment of others and ourselves. Relationship on three dimensions has been broken, with God, self and others! We become lonely, isolated, and alone.

The solution is to repent, turn at 180 degrees, and do the opposite of what we have been doing, and reconcile with God. Clean “house” and accept responsibility for our wrongs, and learn to accept ourselves just as God accepts us, and to make amends to those we have harmed and been harmed by.

Charles Kraft in Anthropology for Christian Witness (p213) says:

Idolatry, whether images (Ex 20:4), arrogance (1 Sam 15:23), covetousness (Col 3:5), or the works of the flesh (Gal 5:20), is always to be replaced on the basis of the new allegiance [with God].

In John 14:15-18 (Amplified Bible) we read:

15: If you [really] love Me, you will keep (obey) My commands. 
16: And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, and Standby), that He may remain with you forever-- 
17: The Spirit of Truth, Whom the world cannot receive (welcome, take to its heart), because it does not see Him or know and recognize Him. But you know and recognize Him, for He lives with you [constantly] and will be in you. 
18: I will not leave you as orphans [comfortless, desolate, bereaved, forlorn, helpless]; I will come [back] to you.

In other words God will provide us with whatever comfort or help we might ever need for our journey through life.

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